In this installment, we'll discuss taking inventory of your items, realizing that your size isn't equal to your worth, setting boundaries and creating joy, and saying goodbye to clothes that no longer serve you!
Take inventory of your clothing and your feelings.
After you get through all the clothing, you're still left with a mountain of clothing... albeit, smaller and more manageable! This is a good time to take an inventory of two types: what you've got left, and what kind of feelings you're experiencing.
For the clothing, you don't need to know the exact number of leggings, for example. But, it's helpful to know roughly how much you have so you can decide where they're going to reside: closet, dresser drawer, shelf, etc.
As for emotions, it's normal to feel a lot through this process. I'd felt about a hundred things in a few minutes.
I felt proud. Accomplished. More confident.
But also, I felt sad. Goals unattained. Battle lost.
The clothing still had a way to change my mood, my self-worth. I am a believer in karma, good ju-ju, whatever you call it. And I knew that the discarded clothes, still in my home, were a problem. They had to go. Go far away.
And so I donated them. I couldn't have the energy of the forsaken piles lingering in my home, in my spirit.
They brought me down, and damnit, I'm climbing up. Donating the clothes didn't magically change me overnight. But the act of discarding what no longer served me put me on the right path to finish climbing.
Your size is not equal to your worth.
Sit on this nugget today:
EVERYTHING in this life is worth more the more it weighs, EXCEPT WOMEN.
Read it again. And again. And get angry.
We've been lead to believe, for over a century, that thinner women are worth more. And aren't they? They score bigger modeling contracts, movies, and social media accounts. And this culture has ruined the confidence and self-worth of most every "normal" woman out there. And God help those of us who are above the "normal" weight.
And one more nugget: Society wants you to bear children and enter in to womanhood, but look like you never gave birth and stayed in maidenhood.
Society, patriarchy, magazines, shows, etc... all want you to believe that you must be LESS to be MORE. This couldn't be farther from the truth, and quite frankly, reality.
YOU, mama, are worthy. Exactly as you are. You are worth the love and kindness and life you were born to inherit. Your clothes are symbols of the dialogue we're against.
Buy the clothes. Buy pretty pieces. Buy bad-ass pieces. Buy the clothes that fit the body you have, because your body is WORTHY.
Set boundaries and create joy.
Some women prefer setting boundaries for how much to keep. I've had clients that thrive on keeping only a "certain number" of jeans, dresses, or blouses.
Others set boundaries for clothing like you would for people: only the ones that bring you happiness are allowed into your life. And shouldn't that be the right answer for both?
Obviously there are certain people you may feel you can't completely shut out, but must keep (just like those compression shorts you keep for under your dresses. None of us love them, but they're useful, lol). But the rest?
Set boundaries. You're in charge of the closet, of the clothing. It's not vice versa. You can decide to have a closet full of clothing that makes you feel confident, happy, sexy, and joyful. You can walk into a closet that doesn't make you feel unworthy.
So, before you decide that your "keep" piles of clothing are all heading back into your closet and drawers, take a moment to define your boundaries. Make sure that each piece deserves to be there, and that it brings you joy to wear it.
(Who knew that clothing needed boundaries?!)
Time to say Goodbye!
If you haven't already donated or recycled your clothing, today's the day.
I know it can be hard to see the piles/bags/boxes of clothes getting ready to leave you. They've played a very big part in your life and in your body image struggle. They're a key player in the ongoing game of how you feel about your body. It's almost abusive, isn't it? (And I mean that in the most sensitive, and yet experienced way possible.)
The favorite shirt, that no longer fits, hangs in your closet. In view, every day.
Taunting.
Teasing.
Degrading.
-- But you hold onto it. Because life without the shirt means you've messed up. You've lost.
But you haven't.
You're strong. And beautiful. You are woman, and you deserve love and respect, even from yourself. Take the clothes and say goodbye. They don't deserve to control you.
And you, mama, deserve so much better.
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